ISOL & the Big C

ISOL & the Big C

ISOL means In Search of Love
The Big C unfortunately means CANCER not climax
ISOL & the Big C


I just read an amazing blog post on CrazySexyLife (one of my favorite sites on cancer & wellness) called Chemo Courtship.  Guest blogger Catherine Phillips writes about how she, single mother of 2 with cancer, approached dating.  Yes, that’s right… She is in search of Mr. Right and isn’t going to let cancer get in her way.

She writes “It wasn’t long after my diagnosis shakedown that I also wondered “How on earth do I maintain a social life for the next eight months, amidst toxic IVs, invasive biopsies, radioactive scans, untimely nausea and inconvenient hair loss?” Despite the advanced stage of my disease, my prognosis was pretty good, so I wasn’t going to sit around and take a beating. I was going to get a grip and live my life.”

I love her kick-ass attitude… and her honesty.  Read her post… she’s got some great advice on dating with cancer… Click here for more on Chemo Courtship.

In a past edition of Glamor Magazine, I remember reading an article Dating With Cancer… Would You Do It?  This article talks about Cathy Bueti who wrote a GREAT book called Breastless in the City:  A Young Woman’s Story of Love, Loss & Breast Cancer.  Again, another woman with a kick-ass attitude who found love despite cancer.

After reading this, I wondered to myself if I would ever have dated someone knowing they had cancer.  My immediate answer is IDK (I don’t know).  Then I wondered what if I knew that Alan was going to have cancer and die way too young, would I still have married him?  My answer to this question is an unequivocal YES!  You see, I actually believe that I am one of the luckiest people in the world (despite being a 43– oops I mean 44 year old widow (today’s my bday) raising 3 kids on my own)… I mean how many people get to meet, befriend, love & marry their soul mate?  16 years was way too short… but 16 is better than zero.  And as my father-in-law said “Alan lived and loved in 47 years what most people don’t get to do in 100 years.”

But is marrying someone who later becomes sick different than meeting someone who is sick from the get-go???  IDK… it’s a personal choice.  But what I do know with absolute certainty is that no one is guaranteed a tomorrow… not me, not you, not the person with cancer.  Regardless, can 2 love birds destined to be together really stay apart???  Once again, IDK.

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2 thoughts on “ISOL & the Big C

  1. cancerhawk Post author

    Anonymous said…

    Happy Birthday! It’s my birthday, too. 🙂
    I usually try to ignore it, but cancer has taught me that birthdays are precious. I don’t know that I would choose a relationship with someone who would eventually have cancer. That’s why I’m glad I can’t see ahead. I’d miss a lot of great things.

    – Glenda
    May 25, 2011 8:49 AM

    1. cancerhawk Post author

      Robyn Stoller said..
      Happy Birthday Glenda! I try to ignore mine too… always have… but you are right, every bday and every day is precious!!!! And yes, having a crystal ball ain’t what it’s cracked up to be. Thanks for the comment!!!!!

      May 25, 2011 4:57 PM


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