I absolutely believe that most people have the best of intentions. But let’s face reality; it can be extremely difficult to find the “right” thing to say at times. So I really have tried not to judge anyone for anything they might have said OR didn’t say in terms of Alan’s cancer.
With that said, I must share some of the most ridiculous but well-intended things people have said to me over the course of the past year.
“Top 5 Most Ridiculous Things People Say & Do…”
#5. Asking “How are YOU doing”? (with a OMG, poor-you, “mookie” face) It makes me want to cry just thinking about this.
#4. Looking at my ring finger mid-conversation to see if I’m still wearing my wedding band. I wear Alan’s wedding ring around my neck, close to my heart. But it’s too hard for me to wear my wedding ring. With that said, I couldn’t take take the obvious ‘ ring-finger stares’, so I went out and bought myself a nice ring to wear on my left ring finger… and people can assume whatever they want.
#3. Trying to engage me in a conversation about dating and second marriages. Who says I’m even interested in this? My closest friends don’t even talk about this with me. Again well-intended but candidly, it’s inappropriate and uncomfortable.
#2. Telling me that “G-d needs Alan more than we do.” Really?! Could someone actually believe that? Because the G-d I know and love is not selfish. I don’t believe G-d needed Alan more than his wife and 3 young children. The G-d I know is loving & compassionate & wants only good things for people. Some people even said this while Alan was still alive.
#1. And the all time most ridiculous thing someone said to me was “Everything happens for a reason.” Really?! Did you actually just tell me that my 47 year old husband died for a reason? Are you saying that 3 innocent children are going to grow up without their incredible father for a reason? What could that reason be?
Tomorrow I’ll post the “Top 5 Most AMAZING Things People Say & Do” 😉